Posts Tagged ‘change’

Success Strategies : The Right Way To Deal With Change

Saturday, February 6th, 2010

The issue with change is not so much what we think of it, but rather how we respond to it. In all honesty, there are probably few words that can throw up such a kaleidoscope of emotions and differing interpretations for us.

On the one hand, we find change exciting. We all wish our lives to be ‘different’ in some way, after all, no positive progress can be made without change. However, the word also holds some very negative connotations.

Synonyms for the word ‘changeable’ include: ‘volatile’, ‘uncertain’, ‘unstable, ‘unsettled’. All of those can make us feel ‘vunerable’, ‘unsure’ and / or ‘insecure’.

There is a small corner in all of us which likes to feel safe and secure and change is not compatible with that. However, once change has occurred, we very often call it ‘evolution’, ‘progress’, ‘expansion’, ‘growth’ or ‘advancement’, and this throws up a far more positive set of emotions.

Therefore, it seems that it is not change itself which scares us so much as the transition process - that step into the unknown. We like the stability of things as they are ‘now’. Now is somehow comforting because we know what to expect.

Perhaps it is not change that we fear so much as the loss of control that we associate with change. Change inherently carries an element of risk. Sometimes that perceived risk is so big that it keeps us where we are now despite our unhappiness with our current situation.

Then, there are times when we have probably all been guilty of change for change’s sake. We change the color of our hair, we change the layout of our bedroom, we may even change where we work.

I used to change jobs every 3 or 4 months, as I couldn’t find the ‘right job’ for me. At some level, I believed that when I found the ‘right job’ all of my unhappiness would go away. However, someone once pointed out to me that you can move to the moon if you want but everything that really matters would still be the same, because you are still taking ‘you’ with you.

Why? We do it to avoid making the changes that really matter in our lives. In reality, it may be our choice of career which is the cause of our unhappiness, but we will change our hair color ‘just to cheer ourselves up’, because that is an easy and manageable change for us to cope with.

Seeing as change is inevitable, why not embrace it? Use change as an opportunity to evaluate what your life, and to get yourself back on track and focused. Use it as your key to success. How else are we going to grow?

I will leave you with a quote by Charles Darwin: “It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change.”
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This article was edited and distributed by Mark Walters on behalf of Mandy Swift, who was the original author. Learn More : Secrets Of Success

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Change - It’s A Process, Not An Event

Wednesday, August 5th, 2009

No matter who we are, we face continuous change and transition in life. Whether they are externally driven changes, like those initiated by world events, or those internally triggered by developmental processes, or other responses required to life events such as the birth of a new baby, graduating from college, separation, divorce, or the death of a spouse. Unfortunately, life never remains static and consequently, neither can we.

Noted change management guru, William Bridges, has identified a simple three-step model for understanding and coping with the changes in our lives:

1. Endings

I really like this model because it is one of the few that I’ve seen that acknowledges that all changes - whether the “good” ones or the “bad” ones - start with us losing something. Regardless how much we might be looking forward to the change (e.g., going off to college, new job, getting married, moving), the new thing first of all requires that we forfeit something.

We almost always have to turn our backs on the well-known, the usual, and the comfortable. This might involve changes to existing relationships, moving from a place where we’ve lived for most of our lives, giving up our recognized position of “authority” or being the “go-to” person at work. Possibly we’ll have to abandon a social circle that we’ve had for a lifetime. Pals with whom we attended school. A memory-filled house, with a big backyard for relaxing, plenty of room for the kids and all their buddies. Perhaps it’s something as simple as a quick and easy commute to work.

But, regardless of the alteration in our life, it’s a good bet that the first thing(s) that we’ll see are the things that we are having to say goodbye to.

2. Neutral Zone

The next part of the model is I think the hardest one. We’ve moved beyond all the known, sound, comfortable, accustomed things that we’ve relied upon to expedite our normal decision-making processes, people we can share our trials and tribulations with, all the tried and true “safety nets” we’ve built into our lives: the insurance agent we’ve trusted, our child’s teacher, the place of worship where we’ve become well established and have a strong support network.

The Neutral Zone is the stage where all the “old stuff” has to be left behind, but the necessary new support infrastructure hasn’t yet been created, or if developed, they are still new and rather fragile.

Life can be very daunting in the Neutral Zone as you live in a state of novelty, ambiguity and uncertainty. But diligence and perseverence are the secrets to a victorious journey through the Neutral Zone.

3. Beginnings

Steadily, over time, we get things established for our new existence. If we’ve just started college, we’ve located all our classes, met the teachers, met some friends, and perhaps joined a fraternity, sorority or the tennis team. If beginning a new occupation, we’ve gotten over the initial shock of being the rookie, to having a definite role to perform, and we’ve gained knowledge and job competence. We’ve met our managers and many of our colleagues (perhaps we’re no longer the “newest” kid on the block). If establishing a new business, we’ve got the basic foundations established. We’ve probably found a new residence, unpacked most (if not all) the boxes. We know where the best food stores, drug stores, cleaners, gas stations, beauty salons, and doctors are located.

Things are finally settling into a routine, and life is becoming more established - and more predictable every day (although it will never become entirely static, or static).

We’re adapting and growing into our new roles and adjusting to our new setting.

This takes time. The worst thing you can do is expect that it will happen immediately - it won’t. Give yourself, and your family, sufficient time and space, to assimilate the change - and they will!

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